Infinity of Sorts

raydayton:

these two i swear (x)

renirabbit:

fearliath:

do-i-smell-watermelon:

the bend

image

and slap

image

I don’t even watch Star Trek but that is the most graceful bitchslap I have ever seen.

this is amazing

mooseleys:

songs of supernatural (insp)

please elaborate on how you got a substitute teacher to quit within one day. I'm genuinely curious.
Anonymous

mysticmoonhigh:

mamalovebone:

all right everyone sit down, shut up and listen closely because I’m about to tell y’all the tale of Ms. Mormino.

Seventh grade is a time most people don’t look back on fondly. I know I sure don’t—I tend to regard that era as nothing more than an unpleasant, acne-filled haze of fall out boy and poor attempts at pseudo-zooey deschanel fashions. But enough about me. Let’s talk about my math teacher. 

Ms. Isom. Poor old Ms. Isom. Well in her 60’s, always plagued with some illness or injury, she was hardly ever even at school. Since many of her absences were the result of short-notice incidents—“falling down the stairs” was popularly cited— it wasn’t all that uncommon to not have a substitute on hand. Being a smartass honors class, we’d gotten away with several successful evasions of administration, walking cavalierly into class  to pass the next 48 minutes doing just about nothing. Hell, for good measure, we’d sometimes even toss in a friendly “hey, Ms. Isom!” if any administrators were anywhere within earshot. So incredibly anti-establishment, you could basically call it another Project Mayhem, except instead of Brad Pitt and Ed Norton concocting homemade bombs, it was a bunch of tweenyboppers with iPhone 3’s and Justin Bieber 2009 haircuts. 

 We got pretty accustomed to our own little self-governing system that rolled around every second period, so we naturally weren’t exactly thrilled when administration caught on to our little Anarchy Act and strictly enforced the presence of a substitute every day. 

Most of our subs weren’t terrible—most were friendly, gave us participation grades, and didn’t object to the independent attitude of our class (which, mind you, only had about ten students in it) 

That is, until Ms. Mormino came along. 

Four feet, ten inches of raw, undiluted evil, Ms. Mormino walked into class with a scowl on her face and a chip on her shoulder. When the girl behind me sneezed, Ms. Mormino’s immediate response was “NO INAPPROPRIATE NOISES!” 

 Although we all suppressed our laughter, we all knew from that moment on that, try as she might with her despotism and her draconian anti-sneeze policy, Ms. Mormino didn’t stand a chance. 

 The arguable beginning of the end for Ms. Mormino’s all-too-brief reign of terror was the moment I asked for a calculator; mine was broken. Mormino asserted that I could only borrow a calculator if I loaned her something of mine; at that moment, the girl next to me chimed in, saying she, too, needed a calculator. “I have a folder I can give you,” I offered. “I have a highlighter,” added the other girl. 

 At that moment, a puberty-creaking voice from the back of the room piped up. 

Max. 

We all know certain people have certain gifts. Michelangelo saw angels in every block of marble and devoted his life to setting them free; Einstein had a mind which saw the potential of the entire universe; F. Scott Fitzgerald wove intricate tales of decadence and depravity. Max, however, had a different kind of gift: he could make anything—anything at all—into a “that’s what she said” joke. More on that later, though. 

Max pried off a Nike sneaker and held it proudly in the air, like a coveted trophy. 

"I have a shoe." 

Tottering in one-shoe-one-sock, Max dumped the sneaker on Ms. Mormino’s desk, retrieved a calculator, then tottered back to his own desk, a sort of smirk playing on his face. And, as to be expected—the rest of us quickly followed suit. 

 A small pile of shoes on her desk, Ms. Mormino grit her teeth and glared at us as we all sat back down, quietly victorious, a calculator in each of our hands. It wasn’t long, however, until we all began to silently plot our next act of minor mayhem. 

"Can I go to the bathroom?" asked Tyler, who, despite being in seventh grade, was approaching his sixteenth birthday. In a combination of verism and admiration of Tyler’s devil-may-care boldness, we unequivocally accepted him as our leader. For reasons unknown, Ms. Mormino denied his request. Tyler, much like his Fight Club namesake, heeded no rules but his own and left anyway—Ms. Mormino, furious, locked the door behind him and smugly insisted that "administration will take care of him." 

Tyler, however, was not one to be caught, and stayed close by, appearing in the window of the door whenever Ms. Mormino wasn’t looking. Waving, smiling, laughing, making faces and obscene gestures, Tyler had us all in stitches, but cleverly avoided Ms. Mormino’s sight—when she asked us what was so funny, we all refused to give Tyler away. 

A girl asked to go to the bathroom, stating she “really really really” needed to go. Ms. Mormino, again, denied her request. Ms. Mormino, however, seemed to be uninformed about the side door—leading right outside, always locked from the outside but always open from the inside. 

"Well, I’ll go myself," the girl responded, and took off, hurdling three desks and darting out the door. Right behind her, two other students took off, pursuing freedom. The door slammed behind all three students, and they were gone. 

 Six of us were left. Among us, importantly, was Chris. 

Chris was thirteen, but looked half his age; scrawny, wiry, he probably measured in at about four-foot-three, but no taller. “Late Bloomer” are words that come to mind. 

Despite his diminutive size, Chris possessed the gall of someone like Tyler.

"I have to use the bathroom," said Chris, standing. 

 ”Do you think I’m going to allow you to go to the bathroom?” snapped Ms. Mormino. 

 ”It’s an emergency!” Chris pleaded. 

"Sit down," Ms. Mormino growled. 

Meanwhile, the entire class borders on hysteria. We have tears in our eyes, almost suffocating from choking back laughter. 

"It’s an emergency," repeated Chris, but it sounded more like a warning.

"Sit."

Silence. Silence, Silence and more silence, until we all began to notice a dark stain on Chris’s khakis. The stain grew. And grew. And grew.

 Fists at his sides, stoicism in his face, and a cold, proud, triumphant glint in his eye, Chris locked eye contact with Ms. Mormino. 

And pissed right in his pants. 

The entire class erupted into a laugh only comparable to the detonation of a bomb. 

We laughed so hard for the next five, ten, fifteen minutes straight that Ms. Mormino gave up. Surrendering, putting her head on her desk, she waited until the hysteria finally subsided. 

Finally looking up, defeated, pathetic, Ms. Mormino glared at us all and wailed: 

 ”This is too much, this is too hard, too hard, Jesus Christ, this is too much for me!” 

 A lone voice sounded from the back of the room. Guess whose it was.

"That’s what she said."

Ms. Mormino officially retired from teaching that afternoon.

FUCKING READ IT IT’S WORTH IT

pricepricebaby:

abulletforniki:

powerofvoodoo:

well this is rEALLY CUTE.

IT’S THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.

I have reblogged this at least 5 times and I don’t care

starrify-everything:

TIPS:
Tips For Characterization
21 Harsh But Eye-Opening Tips From Great Authors
The Importance Of Body Language
34 Writing Tips That Will Make You A Better Writer
Things Almost Every Author Needs To Research
Eight Short Story Tips
How To Stop Procrastinating
Ten Exercises In Creativity
How To Show (Not Tell)
Ten Ways To Avoid Writing Insecurity
Why Research Is Important In Writing
Five Ways To Get Out Your Comfort Zone
Seven Ways To Use Brain Science To Hook Readers And Reel Them In
The Difference Between Good And Bad Writers
Five Essential Story Ingredients
Formatting Your Manuscript
Four Ways To Have Confidence In Your Writing
99 Ways To Beat Writers Block
You’re Not Hemingway, Helping You Develop Your Own Skill
Best Apps For Writers
Online Whiteboard
This Sentence Has 5 Words
GRAMMAR (WORDS):
Urban Legends From The World Of Grammar
20 Common Grammar Mistakes
Synonyms For Said
Alternatives For But
Alternatives For Angry
Alternatives For Whispered
200 Words To Describe Light
45 Ways To Avoid Saying Very
Colour Names
Other Ways To Say…
Lay vs Lie
Make Words Longer
Words And Meanings
Common English Mistakes
Online Etymology Dictionary
Tip Of My Tongue
Cliche Finder
NAMES:
7 Rules Of Picking Names For Fictional Characters
Names In Different Time Periods
Behind The Name
Meaning Of Names
Fake Name Generator
Random Name Generator
Quick Name Generator
Fantasy Name Generator
Baby Names Country
Muslim Names And Meanings
Indian Names And Meanings
Name Playground
NOVEL:
How To Rewrite
Editing Recipe
How To Write A Novel
Writing 101: Revising Your Novel
Revising Your Novel: Read What You’ve Written
Finishing Your Novel
Novel Outlining 101
Outline Your Novel In 30 Minutes
13 Most Common Errors On A Novels First Page
How To Organize And Develop Ideas For Your Novel
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:
Family Tree Maker
Tips For Characterization
Character Trait Masterlist
Character Bio Help
Character Writing Exercise
123 Ideas For Character Flaws
Three Ways To Avoid Lazy Character Description
How To Create Fictional Characters
Writing Magical Characters
Character Development Sheet
Character Development Worksheet
Character Chart
Character Chart For Fiction Writers
100 Character Development Questions For Writers
Ten Questions For Creating Believable Characters
Ten Days Of Character Building
Writing Effective Character Breakdowns
PLOT, CONFLICT, STRUCTURE and OUTLINE:
When To Change Paragraphs
36 (plus 1) Dramatic Situations
How To Write A Death Scene
The Snowflake Method
Effectively Outlining Your Plot
Tips For Creating A Compelling Plot
One Page Plotting
How To Create A Plot Outline In 8 Easy Steps
Choosing The Best Outline Method For You
Creating Conflict And Sustaining Suspense
Conflict Test
What Is Conflict?
Writing The Perfect Scene
How Can You Know What Belongs In Your Book?
SETTING, WORLDBUILDING AND FANTASY:
Masterpost For Writers Creating Their Own World
World Building 101
Creating A Believable World
Maps Workshop - Developing The Fictional World Through Mapping
Creating Fantasy And Science Fiction Worlds
Writing Fantasy
Myths
Creating The Perfect Setting
POINT OF VIEW:
Establishing The Right Point Of View
How To Write In Third Person
The I Problem
OTHERS:
Types Of Crying
Eye Colours
Skin Tones
Who Do I Write Like?
Write Rhymes
Survive Nature
How To Escape After Being Buried Alive In A Coffin

starrify-everything:

TIPS:

Tips For Characterization

21 Harsh But Eye-Opening Tips From Great Authors

The Importance Of Body Language

34 Writing Tips That Will Make You A Better Writer

Things Almost Every Author Needs To Research

Eight Short Story Tips

How To Stop Procrastinating

Ten Exercises In Creativity

How To Show (Not Tell)

Ten Ways To Avoid Writing Insecurity

Why Research Is Important In Writing

Five Ways To Get Out Your Comfort Zone

Seven Ways To Use Brain Science To Hook Readers And Reel Them In

The Difference Between Good And Bad Writers

Five Essential Story Ingredients

Formatting Your Manuscript

Four Ways To Have Confidence In Your Writing

99 Ways To Beat Writers Block

You’re Not Hemingway, Helping You Develop Your Own Skill

Best Apps For Writers

Online Whiteboard

This Sentence Has 5 Words

GRAMMAR (WORDS):

Urban Legends From The World Of Grammar

20 Common Grammar Mistakes

Synonyms For Said

Alternatives For But

Alternatives For Angry

Alternatives For Whispered

200 Words To Describe Light

45 Ways To Avoid Saying Very

Colour Names

Other Ways To Say…

Lay vs Lie

Make Words Longer

Words And Meanings

Common English Mistakes

Online Etymology Dictionary

Tip Of My Tongue

Cliche Finder

NAMES:

7 Rules Of Picking Names For Fictional Characters

Names In Different Time Periods

Behind The Name

Meaning Of Names

Fake Name Generator

Random Name Generator

Quick Name Generator

Fantasy Name Generator

Baby Names Country

Muslim Names And Meanings

Indian Names And Meanings

Name Playground

NOVEL:

How To Rewrite

Editing Recipe

How To Write A Novel

Writing 101: Revising Your Novel

Revising Your Novel: Read What You’ve Written

Finishing Your Novel

Novel Outlining 101

Outline Your Novel In 30 Minutes

13 Most Common Errors On A Novels First Page

How To Organize And Develop Ideas For Your Novel

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Family Tree Maker

Tips For Characterization

Character Trait Masterlist

Character Bio Help

Character Writing Exercise

123 Ideas For Character Flaws

Three Ways To Avoid Lazy Character Description

How To Create Fictional Characters

Writing Magical Characters

Character Development Sheet

Character Development Worksheet

Character Chart

Character Chart For Fiction Writers

100 Character Development Questions For Writers

Ten Questions For Creating Believable Characters

Ten Days Of Character Building

Writing Effective Character Breakdowns

PLOT, CONFLICT, STRUCTURE and OUTLINE:

When To Change Paragraphs

36 (plus 1) Dramatic Situations

How To Write A Death Scene

The Snowflake Method

Effectively Outlining Your Plot

Tips For Creating A Compelling Plot

One Page Plotting

How To Create A Plot Outline In 8 Easy Steps

Choosing The Best Outline Method For You

Creating Conflict And Sustaining Suspense

Conflict Test

What Is Conflict?

Writing The Perfect Scene

How Can You Know What Belongs In Your Book?

SETTING, WORLDBUILDING AND FANTASY:

Masterpost For Writers Creating Their Own World

World Building 101

Creating A Believable World

Maps Workshop - Developing The Fictional World Through Mapping

Creating Fantasy And Science Fiction Worlds

Writing Fantasy

Myths

Creating The Perfect Setting

POINT OF VIEW:

Establishing The Right Point Of View

How To Write In Third Person

The I Problem

OTHERS:

Types Of Crying

Eye Colours

Skin Tones

Who Do I Write Like?

Write Rhymes

Survive Nature

How To Escape After Being Buried Alive In A Coffin

alisieck:

When you play a video game with really good graphics

image

shercockandmycrotch:

What people think Geoff is like:

What Geoff really is like:

itsstuckyinmyhead:

Tumblr Being Smooth

Happy 25th Birthday Ray!! (September, 15, 1989)